I Don't Want To...

“Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” (Mark 9:35 NLT)

I've been thinking about this verse a lot over the last week. I honestly believe it is because God is whispering it into my ear, of course, at the perfect time. To be honest, I don't like this verse. I don't like what God is requiring of me in it. I don't like the very humbling actions I have to take to obey it. I don't want to being a slave. 

I work in customer service. I work at a pediatric dental office in Scottsdale, Arizona. We pride ourselves in being the best of the best. "The Nordstrom's of Pediatric Dentistry." Next year marks the completion of my 7th year there. I never would have pictured myself working in dentistry, working with people. One thing about me is I am an introvert. I am a paper pusher. I would be completely content sitting in a little cubicle, adding numbers or filling out forms. Instead, I work with people. Have you ever met people? People are scary! People are selfish! People want to be in charge and to be the queens and kings of their own lives. These are the people God has chosen for me to serve every day. 

Last week, I just didn't feel like being a slave. I'm not sure if there were more demanding people for me to help, or if I just noticed it a bit more than usual. I remember thinking things like, "Really, they didn't even say thank you!?" or "I went way out of my way to do that and they weren't even grateful!" ... and right about that time was when this verse was almost audibly reminded to me in my heart. 

I heard the reminder so clearly, "Servant of All." As I was standing by our postage machine on Thursday, I was reminded of Jesus washing His follower's feet. I was reminded of Jesus' birth in a barn. I was reminded of Jesus, on a rushed journey to a dying girl, stopping to address a woman who had reached out to Him. I was reminded of Jesus' early morning alone time being interupted as crowds of people came to Him to be healed. I was reminded of Jesus being disrupted from a nap to calm the ragging sea and His follower's fears. And today, I was reminded of His death. 

Imagine Him in the garden of Gethsemane, as He battled His own will. Imagine Him crying out, "I don't want to do this!"  "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine." (Matthew 26:39 NLT)  Jesus was a person just like me. He knew the torcher that He was about to go through. He knew that people would not be grateful, and most experiencing His crucifixion would not even understand that I would be the most imporantant event in history! They wouldn't know what He was experiencing. They wouldn't feel His pain as he suffered excruciating agony not only through His body, but through His soul as He would bearing God's wrath for all man-kind's sins. Imagine the fear He experienced. If He is anything like me, He would be trying to figure out any way possible to get out of the situation. He would be planning His escape or a plan B for bringing about salvation to the World. And as I look at this view of Christ, that He stayed true to God's painful plan for His life, it put a completely different perspective on His call for us of servitude. 

Look at the verses surrounding the call for us to be slaves:

Leaving that region, they traveled through Galilee. Jesus didn’t want anyone to know he was there, for he wanted to spend more time with his disciples and teach them. He said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of his enemies. He will be killed, but three days later he will rise from the dead.” They didn’t understand what he was saying, however, and they were afraid to ask him what he meant. After they arrived at Capernaum and settled in a house, Jesus asked his disciples, “What were you discussing out on the road?” But they didn’t answer, because they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest. He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” (Mark 9:30-35 NLT) 

His very own followers were supposed to understand Him and know His teachings and what He stood for! As He told them of His coming death, they were clueless and immediately started to argue about which of them would be the greatest! Maybe they were wondering where at the table Leondaro da Vinci would be placing them for his famous Last Supper painting?! They completely missed the moral of the story! 

Jesus tells them, if greatness truly what you want, you must be a "Slave to All." Then He follows up with prime example of being "The Slave of All" by giving up Himself to pay the price for OUR wrongs. 

What a humbling time of communion. What more can you say than "Thank You, Jesus." Honestly, it doesn't look so bad anymore to enslave myself to fellow man-kind. Whether it be at your work, at the store, to your family or friends, and yes even strangers... I pray that God willl remind you of the blessings that come from laying down your own self, and placing others needs (and wants) above your own. May the Holy Spirit, Himself give you the strength and faithfulness to live a life like Jesus did. Even when we want to say, "I don't want to."

Sincerely,

Jen