Confession

Friday was a somber night.

The last year that we've spent at New City Church had been spent growing in grace and experiencing the goodness of God's love through the redemption of Christ's sacrifice of the cross. It has been a victorious year in our spiritual life as a family. We have been encouraged and convicted. We have surrendered things and in that experienced freedom. We have sacrificed and experienced joy. 

However, Friday night was... Different. 

As we walked into church we were welcomed by two amazing pieces of art by Bruce Herman. The conception of Jesus, and His crucifixion. As we worshipped, together as a church we read though prayers and scriptures together... (seems normal right) But these were not victorious prayers. These were confession prayers.

"For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you have me to drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me." - Matthew 25:42-43

It just didn't sit right with me. I love God. I'm not someone that would turn Him away. I've dedicated my whole life to Him. I've sacrificed for Him. I've given to His church. I've served in ministry. I pray for people. Even part of me said, "No! I'm not going to pray this prayer." 

... But at the same time, almost as one fluent thought together, God set me in my place. I am that sinner. It is my fault Jesus is up on that cross. Any and everything good in me has nothing to do with who I am, but all to do with who He has made me! 

I have been living in the victory of the cross and have forgotten my sinful nature that lead Jesus there.  I know full well of the past He has saved me from, but it was a fresh and painful confession. . . I suck. 

My husband said that night was like wave after wave of God cleansing us and taking away our guilt. He did not yet know what God was speaking to my heart. 

Good Friday takes on a whole new view when you sit down and pray, "God, this is my fault." The phrase in my heart was "I need to fess up!!" It's not that I had some habitual sin or something specifically that I was struggling with. On the contrary, as I first mentioned... It has been a year of growth. But the reality of the cross... The severity of my debt... The Holiness required to commune with God... The lack of ability I have to make myself pure... The magnitude of grace... It all came flooding in. 

I was thinking about how that night must have been for the disciples. They had left their careers, their homes, their families, all to follow Jesus. He had done amazing things in the three years they had spent together. They were already planning out their futures in ministry. Things were looking up and up for Jesus' kingdom. Then all at once it came crashing down. 

I'm sure they didn't have their Leader's death noted in their 5 year plan. Where do you go from there!?! I'm sure the conversations with Jesus they had before this probably popped in their heads. They were probably trying to piece it all together. But realistically, I think they were all hopeless. They were lost and confused.  Check out Luke 24. They were PERPLEXED when they didn't find the body.  When the women returned to tell them Jesus wasn't there they "considered their words as nonsense,"  and after Peter even went to check out the tomb himself, he "wondered what had happened."

The night He had died, they really didn't know what was to come next. The Messiah, whom they had waited centuries for, had just been murdered. 

Maybe they were doubting everything they had invested the last three years into. Maybe they were thinking this was an elaborate hoax, or that Jesus was just a liar with a bunch of magic trip up His sleeve. 

Especially today, I am so thankful I live on this side of the resurrection!!! It must have been a LONG three days for His students. Today we can REJOICE in His victory!!! Friday, we somberly remembered and worshipped Jesus for the price He paid for us. Our debt. Our lashes. Our cross. We 'fess up that it is our fault, and today we celebrate with the victory of Christ. 

Jesus, Thank You. That should always be the first words from our lips. You did this for me. I am an ugly, evil, heartless person without You. Now I can have grace, patience, hope, and mercy for the world around me, knowing that I am not better that anyone else and that You chose to save me. I 'fess up to You that it doesn't matter how big or small of a wrong I've committed, one was enough to banish me from Heaven and for You to pay my price on the cross. May my heart be daily reminded of Your sacrifice for me. 

Sincerely,

Jen

If you would like to check out Bruce Herman's amazing work, you can do so here:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=450692471668389

And it is also on display at New City for this coming First Friday Free event. Details are here. http://newcityphx.com/

Palm Sunday

"Now when they drew near to Jerusalem, to  Bethphage and Bethany, at  the Mount of Olives, Jesus  sent  two of his disciples  and said to them,  "Go into the village in front of you, and immediately as you enter it you will find a colt tied,  on which no one has ever sat. Untie it and bring it.    If anyone says to you, "Why are you doing this?" say, "The Lord has need of it and will send it back here immediately."    And they went away and found a colt tied at a door outside in the street, and they untied it.  And some of those standing there said to them, "What are you doing, untying the colt?"  And they told them what Jesus had said, and they let them go.  And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it, and he sat on it. (Mark 11:1-7 ESV)

We read this in church this morning, Palm Sunday. As we were reading, a couple thoughts came to my mind. The first was of this little baby colt.

- Isn't it interesting that Jesus rides into Jerusalem (known as the Triumphant Entry) riding on the back of a young, untrained colt? Seems awkward, right? Back in the day, Kings would enter in on a strong steed when they were coming in victoriously after a battle had been won. When they came in on a donkey, it was a sign that they were coming in peace.

Here, Jesus is fulling one of hundreds of prophecies from the Old Testament that He is the Messiah!

"Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is He, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey." (Zechariah 9:9 ESV)

The name of this event is the other thing that bugs me every year it comes around... TRIUMPHANT Entry?? I've read the story... I know what happens in the coming week... Yes the scriptures follow with the claims of the Jerusalem people... But their shouts are fickle and within the week they will be crying out for His crucifixion!!


"And many spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut from the fields. And those who went before and those who followed were shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!" (Mark 11:8-10 ESV)

In Aramaic, Hosanna means: Rescue us, Help Us, Save Us, or even "Savior" Their claims were not to save their souls, but some believe they were wanting Him to ignite a revolt against the Roman Empire.

Jesus knew their hearts. He quietly and humbly, on his little colt, rode into town hearing each voice, seeing straight through to their sinful hearts, knowing that His blood was going to be shed for each person there. And here is where the next throught came...

I wonder if this colt knew exactly what his place in history was. Now don't make fun... but the Bible says that the sky and the earth, the fields and trees all praise Him. (Psalm 96:11-13) The sea creatures and the oceans, lightening, hail, snow and clouds... Fruit trees, cedars, wild animals, and cattle all praise Him!? (Psalm 148) and if we slack in our job of praise, even the mountains and rocks will take our place!?" (Romans 1:25) ... Then I would say that this colt knew exactly Who he was giving a ride too.

What an interesting perspective: this small colt, carrying his Creator into town for His triumphant entry. Did he know the praises of the people would be in vain? Did He know of the coming tragedies of the cross? What a somber moment I have as I put myself in the colt's place, experiencing the homage of the people and know the outcome of Christ's submission to the cross for them.

My heart cries out with them, "Save us! Rescue us!" but also, today, acknowledging at what price that redemption will come.

King Jesus, I thank You for this day You rode in, claiming Your place as our Messiah. I will never really understand the price You paid for my redemption, but I commit this week to You and the remembrance of what You did for us on the cross. Thank You for riding in on a colt, the sign of peace that You came with and came to give to us. May I not lose sight of my need for You everyday. I lay my coat before You as my King and proclaim Hosanna!

Sincerely,
Jen


I want to welcome you to our church if you don't have a place to come worship Jesus this Good Friday. Come as you are, no need to get fancy and proper - all the info is on the website: http://newcityphx.com/


http://youtu.be/n4suaSR-Gps
Jesus, You are mercy, Jesus, You are justice
Jesus, You are worthy, that is what You are
You died alone to save me, You rose so You could raise me
You did this all to make me a chosen child of God

Worthy is the Lamb that once was slain
To receive all glory, power and praise
For with Your blood You purchased us for God
Jesus, You are worthy, that is what You are

Jesus, You are mercy, Jesus, You are justice
Jesus, You are worthy, that is what You are
You died alone to save me, You rose so You could raise me
You did this all to make me a chosen child of God

Worthy is the Lamb that once was slain
To receive all glory, power and praise
For with Your blood You purchased us for God
Jesus, You are worthy, that is what You are

Perfect sacrifice crushed by God for us
Bearing in Your hurt all that I deserve
Misjudged from my misdeeds, You suffered silently
The only guiltless man in all of history

How worthy is the Lamb that once was slain
To receive all glory, power and praise?
For with Your blood You purchased us for God
Jesus, You are worthy, that is what You are
Jesus, You are worthy, that is what You are

Justice and mercy, justice and mercy
Meet at the cross

February Faith

Well... three posts in and I've already neglected my little blog!! Well... I feel like I haven't had much of anything worth throwing out there until the last few days.

My sweet mommy, Ann, started theme words for each month. So far January was "Joy" and February was "Forgiveness." I think the word God has given me is February "faith." (Of course I'm just now learning my word and it is the last day of the month!)

Ephesians 5:16 "Redeem the time because the days are evil"

Now, more than ever, is this ringing in my ears. I know there are a lot of people going through difficult things right now. Our family is battling with cancer, death, drugs, financial hardships, and these are just to name a few. It's heart breaking when I sit down and think of the people I need to be praying for that are going through something really really hard. Maybe there has been a difficult diagnosis of a loved one. Maybe your husband or wife has left. Maybe you have lost your job and are not sure how your bills will be paid. . . God is in control. I know it's hard to trust that in the face of a seemingly impossible or hopeless circumstance.


“God thunders with his voice in marvelous ways; He does great things, and we cannot comprehend. (Job 37:5 LEB)


This verse struck me as I read it. Yes, God is majestic and powerful. Yes, He does great things. But the fact that we don't comprehend those great things is really what stuck out.

When I think of great things I think of things that people do in the name of humanitarianism. The great philanthropists... Oprah giving away a car or a college scholarship... Extreme makeover rebuilding a family's home and paying off their mortgage... These things you look at and say "Wow! That is a great thing!!"

Now, if God is the Leader and Head of all philanthropists, then wouldn't it be right to see the things He is doing and know they are good? It should be obvious, right? It should be something off our wish list on Pinterest or something that would clearly make our life easier ... or money! We all neeeeeed money.

But we do not comprehend. We see what He is doing and we fight against it.

... We fight: like Peter, we slice off the ear of those who have come to take away Christ, not knowing His capture would bring salvation to all. (Luke 22:47-51)

... We doubt if He really knows what He is doing: Like Samuel, when he was told that David, Jesse's youngest and scraggliest son was chosen to be Israel's king. (1 Samuel 16)

... We complain: like the Israelites after they were freed from slavery. (pretty much all of Exodus)

... We disobey His calling: Like Jonah, who ran the opposite way when God asked to minister to the meanest, vilest people of his day. (Jonah)

... We take matters into our own hands: like Abraham, who (twice) told people his wife was his sister in an attempt to keep his family safe. (which did not work BTW... Genesis 20 and Genesis 27) OR the time he tried to fulfill God's promise on his own by trying to conceive a son though a servant girl (Genesis 16) ... Really Abraham!? You're giving us lots of good examples here...

... We walk away: like the rich young ruler, who thought that the cost of following Christ was too much for him to sacrifice. (Matthew 19:16-30)

"We cannot comprehend." It's like God is telling us... "It's ok guys. You're not going to get it. Just trust Me!"

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord . “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9 NLT)

He's not trying to say we are stupid... He's reminding us that we are little tiny baby sized ants on this big giant world. We cannot see the big picture! (I'm picturing myself like one of the kids in "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" trying to trek my way through this backyard of mud and bugs and giant water drops.)

Today my eyes were opened to this big picture when my husband said to me that he can relate to a child being brought up in an abusive household. It is tragic for any child to have to experience abuse. But to see that Ricky can reach out and help one of these little ones because he himself has traveled this road before really got to me. What a view of grace... to see that God really uses people's hurt and can turn it around for a glorious story of people helping other people! (And yes, God did an amazing work in Ricky's parents, both of which are two of the most loving people I have ever known.)

Often, it's a rainy day. The storms of life are heavy and the constant downpour can be overwhelming. It's so easy to get discouraged!! But remember God's promises when the rain doesn't stop, friends...

“The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up. These events will bring great honor to the L ord ’s name; they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.” (Isaiah 55:10-13 NLT)

The rain will bring forth fruit and crops and flowers! It won't be in vain, friend! Hold fast to God and remember we probably won't understand the "Why" now... But it will always be for the benefit of us and of others.

Please, friends, let me know if I can pray for you. There is no need to carry your burdens alone.

Sincerely,
Jen

Some Tuesday Fun & A Recipe!

It was amazing out today. Needless today say, we spend a lot of time outside. This is my favorite part about Tuesdays off... Getting to play with these little ladies. 

We had some breakfast, and jumped on our bikes to see what we could see, feel, and hear.

Some of our friends came with us. We couldn't just leave Brobee at home!

Baby Rosie Came with us too. Charlee was a great mom and was prepared with her bottle incase she got hungry.

One of the things we saw and heard were birds... So they girls tried to play tag with them

... and pigeon tag turned into sister tag

Jovee was stuffing her pockets with leaves. Yup. She's a 2 year old.

Charlee loves to love on Jovee.  She is such a sweet girl!

We played with some chalk in the front yard. Normally, in Phoenix, that sun would be miserable... but it was in the 50's today and it was GLORIOUS to bask in!

Here's our family! Charlee insisted Ricky wear a bow tie... Not sure how he feels about that!

We mastered the Hop-Scotch!

I love getting action shots with their hair all crazy

Jovee collected things she found through out our adventure in the trunk of her tricycle. She brought out each thing to give to her papa one by one.

We don't spend enough time playing in the grass with bare feet... it was amazing.

Charlee and I made some pizza rolls!

They turned out awesome and the girls ate ALL of them!!!

Pillsbury Crescent Pizza Rolls with Dipping Sauce

1 can of crescent rolls

1 Pack of large pepperonis

shredded mozzarella cheese

1 table spoon of minced garlic

2 tablespoons of melted butter

- preheat oven as directed on crescent roll package

- open, unroll and divide the crescent rolls

- starting with the smallest corner, lay out a pepperoni and sprinkle with cheese

- roll it up! and tuck in the corners

- melt butter and toss in the garlic

- top butter mixture on top of the pizza pockets 

- sprinkle cheese on top

- bake according to directions on crescent rolls... sometimes I have to give it an extra 3-5  minutes to cooke the bottom of the rolls

- bake ac

for the sauce:

Can of Crushed Tomatoes

Can of Tomato Paste

2 Tablespoons of minced garlic

Italian seasonings

1/4 cup heavy cream

1 cup of parmesan

(if you want... add a splash or too of white wine... I didn't do that for the kiddos but you can if you're making it for grown ups... its yummy)

- Over medium heat stir together all ingredients...

- put in a serving dish to dip :) (duh)

Feel free to leave out the cream/parmesan/mozzarella if dairy is an issue. I add it in after I've taken some sauce out for Jovee since she has a dairy allergy. Seriously Crescent rolls are the funnest thing ever! You can put, really whatever you want in them and they're delicious! 

We had an all out fun day! I am so blessed to be the mommy to these two sweet ladies. I love getting to explore the world with them and play together. Also, we've been praying about it and decided that we are going to jump in and home school the girls. It's something Ricky and I are SUPER excited about! Let the journey begin!

Sincerely,

Jen

Happy New Year!

Well... It is the first official day of 2013. There is something so refreshing about a new start. 

God sure has been putting a lot on my heart lately, and one of those things is this blog. So here we go! 

I've spent a few days praying about what God's direction is for this blog. What exactly does He want me to share? What is the theme? or even the name!? In the midst of praying, there were a few things that stuck out in my head: 

GROWTH: 

"God blesses those people who refuse evil advice and won’t follow sinners or join in sneering at God. Instead, the Law of the Lord makes them happy, and they think about it day and night. They are like trees growing beside a stream, trees that produce fruit in season and always have leaves. Those people succeed in everything they do."  Psalm 1:1-3 (CEV)

I definitely feel God has been growing our family over the past year. He has directed us in multiple ways, and we have listened, and He has blessed us as a result. I feel as if our family is that tree and we are planted by the river, constantly being nourished, producing fruit and foliage. 

ORGANIC:

We were worshiping together as a church a few weeks ago and as the band started into the musical part of the bridge, the congregation just started singing the words without any prompting or leading: "My heart will sing no other name, but Jesus, Jesus!" It was so sweet. One of those moments you can't catch your breath and try to squeak out the song along with the others around you, fighting back tears. It wasn't rehearsed. Our worship leader didn't say, "Okay you guys, right here I'm going to back off and you guys sing really loud..." No. It was true. It was organic. It was from the heart. 

This is what I feel God is wanting from me. 
To be real. 
To be sincere.

I know we have some difficult roads to travel ahead of us this year. We have friends and family going through so much difficulty, sickness, deep pain, loss. So I will try my best this year to just be sincere throughout it. Honest and transparent. 


"The King is the friend of all who are sincere and speak with kindness" -Proverbs 22:11 (CEV)  





Our first day of 2013: 

We went and played at the park 

... and a triple grande vanilla latte, too (of course)

(Running with daddy)

This was my favorite part of the day: Jovee has been sick and quite cuddly. At lunch, she rested her head on big sister, Charlemaine. Charlee stroked her hair for a few moments. It was the sweetest moment of sister interaction I have yet to witness of my little ladies. (Jovee is NOT fond of loving or being loved by Charlee.)  

I was able to get some OCD cleaning done today and start this blog! :) Now we're winding down the day together watching Josie and the Pussycats. (a classic, duh!) 

_____________________

Lord, Thank You. Sometimes that is all we really need to say. I don't think we say it enough. We have a home, we have our health, we have each other, and we have You. I know that none of these are promised to us tomorrow besides You. I don't want to take any of these for granted. Thank you for them and thank You for You. Thank You that we can rely on You to be our steadfast.

_____________________

Lastly, you HAVE TO check out this song. I cannot get it out of my head. The words and truths contained have been so encouraging and inspiring:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY0Vz8fvIhE

"I am the Lord your God,
I go before you now.
I stand beside you
I’m all around you
And though you feel I’m far away
I’m closer than your breath
I am with you
More than you know

I am the Lord your peace
No evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind
Come into my rest
And oh, let your faith arise
And lift up your weary head
I am with you
Wherever you go

Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m everything

I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
And I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you
I’m your faithful strength
And I am with you
Wherever you go

Don’t look to the right or to the left, keep your eyes on me
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved

I am the hand to hold, I am the truth, I am the way
Just come to me, come to me
Cause I’m all that you need"

Wishing you the best this year, whatever that may be for you and your family. 

Sincerely, Jen.