Have you ever gone through something that sucked really bad and the whole time you just keep wondering, "Why the heck is this happening?" That's been my week. I keep mulling over words like "Victim" and "severed relationship" and sipping on my sour drink of bitterness.
I'm angry.
I'm not ready to forgive.
I'm not the one in the wrong.
I keep justifying my self-pity as I replay the various events of the last 6 days.
Then comes along that divinely sent friend to speak that yucky truth you are not ready to hear. 'Give me a few move weeks so I can wallow a bit more. Remember, I am the victim here.'
But no... They say exactly what you need to hear, and the chances are they really don't understand the depths of your heart that their words are reaching. They speak as if God is whispering right into their ears what to say. (He probably is, ya know!)
That's when it hit me today, on the way between picking up Pei Wei and driving home... "She's been here before, too. She tasted this drink and had the proverbial 'bitter beerface' of being wronged. And look how God's using it!"
I'm a firm believer in something my coworker and good friend Paula tells me; "God never wastes a hurt." Of course I forget in the midst of the hurt and I just want to stay angry... But what a beautiful example this sweet ministering friend on mine, Cynthia, is. (Yah, that's right! I called you out!)
As she has recovered from her pain, she was open enough to share her heartache with me. Her recovery brought about through a painful combination of prayer and humility... I hate humility... My woundedness wants to be soothed and pride edified... Not torn down further than they've already take me!! Remember, I'm the victim!!
But no, Jesus says to pray for those who cause you harm. Stupid David acted this out with his relationship with King Saul. So many times he could have killed him, and rightfully so! But he waited patiently, in the desert, for God to bring about his revenge and fulfill His promise. (Intrigued?! Read First and Second Samuel... And a Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards)
I look at my friend, Cynthia and I see the beautiful example of why God lets bad things happen to us. She weathered an extremely difficult time, but through God's strength, prayer, and a ton of humbleness, she won over as more than a conqueror, bringing hope and direction to my current circumstance. Reaching even further, her hurt still continues to be used to minister as she allows herself to be an open and transparent story. That is the friend that God calls us to be.
