Fruit

Most of the time, I write things from my quiet times. This is from our time at church and the things God placed on my heart. I must say it is so refreshing to spend time with God. It is really not that hard to do. You just have to make time for it and be in a setting where you're not distracted (which can be nearly impossible in 2013). 

I'm so blessed by the things God is doing at our church. It is not because of the men and women serving there... it is simply His Holy Spirit speaking into our hearts in the time we allow to quiet ourselves before Him. Here is what I have been learning:

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But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (Galatians 5:22, 23 NLT) 

Some serious questions come to heart when I read this verse:

• Are these fruit evident in my life? 
• When people look at my life from the outside, without seeing into my heart, would they pin these attributes on me as a person? Am I loving? Do I have Joy or Peace? Am I a patient person? (... and so on)
• Am I actually producing these fruit?
• When do some self examining, do I really have these attributes? Am I a loving, good, faithful person?
• What Fruit am I lacking?
• This answer, I know, can change from time to time depending on circumstance or attitude or how much coffee/sleep I have had. But I don't think that is really the way it works. Let me explain why:

I cannot force myself to produce these fruit. There is nothing of myself that I can do to force out these fruit. It is exclusively the work of the Holy Spirit. 

God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8, 9 NLT)

I want to encourage you to take a minute and evaluate yourself as well with each questions. Pray for the Holy Spirit to search your heart and be honest with Him in your response.

• Am I giving the Holy Spirit what He needs to produce these fruit in my life? 
• a willing heart, time reserved for Him or a heart prepared for Holy gardening

Of course, our mighty and amazing God, Who created the world and all in it merely my speaking can do supernatural things in the depths of our hearts where no one besides Him can go. But the question is, am I inviting Him there? Am I allowing time to sit quietly before His feet? Am I asking Him to soften my stubborn heart to be plyable and moldable?

• Am I fighting against it? 
• This can be done so many ways. I know you're probably thinking of what you struggle with now. I could be from as simple as being distracted to as serious of a sin that you won't let go of. My personal biggest struggle is that of time and just making it a priority to sit quietly.

• Am I doing something to prevent fruit from growing?
• 1 Thessalonians 5:19 Paul says in his final few statements of advice merely "Do not stifle the Holy Spirit." No more detail than that given. I think the specifics of that can be worked out with Him and us in our own hearts. What, Oh God, am I doing to stifle You or Your works?

• Am I fertilizing my heart and prepping it for growth? 
• I want to have a willing heart. I want God to work in me His wonders. I want Him to weed from me my mistakes. I want Him to work through me His plans.

God will do the work and bring about these fruit by meditation upon Him. I must not forget the necessity of quiet time for these fruit to be produced!!

Do I HAVE joy? Peace? Patience? If the answer is no...  it will ultimately be remedied only by meditation upon God and His word. No other thing will eliviate these ailments. They may cover up or numb but they will not truly and ultimately rid our hearts of the selfish cancer we've all be born into known as sinful nature.

May I remember HE is the source of all goodness and the source of His fruit. I need to remember this isn't the "Fruit of Jen." It's not MY joy, it's not MY patience (of which I have needed in high demand recently with my kids.)

The things which I seem to rely upon myself for are patience, faithfulness, and self-control. When these things are lacking I question myself with "Why aren't you being patient?" or "Why can't you commit to this and follow through?" In reality, the faithfulness, the control, and the patience that I need are things that can only come from the Spirit of God. These are HIS attributes.  They're not mine. They don't come naturally. Naturally I'm a selfish... self consumed... self centered. There is nothing I can do on my own to change. I know many may disagree. They think that at the heart of people, there is goodness. I know this is wrong just by looking at myself. Seriously. Just stop. Look inside your heart and your motives, your secret feelings, maybe some bitterness you have towards someone, maybe something you have lied about, something you have hidden from everyone, something that you wouldn't want anyone to know. You can answer for yourself.

I have been working on this post for quite a few weeks now. I have been mediating upon exactly what it is that God is showing me. Yesterday I saw the perfect and most sincere example:

Charlee, Jovee and I were having lunch with a friend and my girls were sharing a pita. True to their personalities, Charlee was taking little nibbles as Jovee had scarfed down her whole portion of pita bread. Charlee gently offered Jovee a large piece of her pita, as Jovee was starting to freak over the remaining food that was not immediately going into her mouth. Our friend Jessica asked Charlee how she became such a good big sister and she simply said, "I don't know... but I'm pretty sure it's Jesus."

Yes! She was exactly right! It is Jesus. I couldn't tell you how proud I was of my sweet 4 year old daughter who has got it down! She understands what most Christians take a lifetime to learn! It is not us. Not even a little. 

Holy Spirit, 
Please bestow upon us YOUR joy... YOUR love... YOUR fruit! Thank You for the reminder that I don't need to look deep in myself for the best person I can be. Thank You that in YOU and by Your Holy Spirit, I can be better than myself. I can be a shining example of YOU. Perfectly peaceful, loving, joyful, and patient. Perfectly kind, gentle, and self controlled. Remind me to acknowledge You for the fruit that others see in my life. It is all of You and none of me!

Sincerely,
Jen

Being Quiet

Today I have felt a sense of urgency to do something. Maybe because its the last day of our 10 day long holiday. Maybe because I'm heading back to work tomorrow. Maybe because I don't want to waste any of this time... but God is doing something different.

I know He is putting on my heart, like I said in my last blog post, to be SUBMERGED in Him. I am trying to do this. I am taking action and filling my heart and my mind with the things of God. But still, God is doing something different. 

Being a full time working mom to a two and a four year old leaves little to no quiet time. Here I am, with everyone asleep, and I'm lost! (typical.) Over the past 24 hours I have sat down to read/write multiple times. Every time my brain just stops! I have began 3 blogs, picked up 3 different books, all to just stop. I've gone from a Tozer book, to Ezekiel, to a book on marriage, to a blurb I started on The Holy Spirit. Everything just turns into a dead end. Its just not right! So, You tell me, God. What exactly is it You want me to do with this time. 

... and that's what I heard. Be quiet.

Its amazing the things God can do in the quiet.


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Isn't prayer often a one sided conversation?

We have something we need, or something someone else needs, and we take the prayer time to ask God of it. We bring our laundry list of chores to God. Yes, we will throw in somethings we are thankful for so we don't seem selfish, but when do we just sit quietly, with open hearts before God?

Maybe you do this all the time? Maybe its just me? But in reality, I think its a healthy reminder of how our relationship with God should be!


How easy is it for us to be distracted?

Just think about your thoughts as you go to bed at night. The things that flood my brain involve the events of the day, the things to come tomorrow, things I wasn't able to to get done, chores, bills, events at work, my children's futures, our future, my family members, friends, recipes/crafts I want to try, things I need to improve, goals I want to accomplish. The list is infinite!

Seriously, just... be... quiet...



...



When I close off my brain, and shoo out the distractions, these are the things I have heard God say to me today.

I am great.

“Look, God is greater than we can understand.
    His years cannot be counted.
²⁷ He draws up the water vapor
    and then distills it into rain.
²⁸ The rain pours down from the clouds,
    and everyone benefits.
²⁹ Who can understand the spreading of the clouds
    and the thunder that rolls forth from heaven?
³⁰ See how He spreads the lightning around Him
    and how it lights up the depths of the sea.
³¹ By these mighty acts He nourishes the people,
    giving them food in abundance."
                                                 -Job 36:26-31



I love you.
"The Lord your God is in your midst,
   a Mighty One who will save; 
He will rejoice over you with gladness;
    He will quiet you by His love;
He will exult over you with loud singing."                                                 -Zephaniah 3:17



I am faithful.
"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for His compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for Him.”
                                                 -Lamentations 3:22-24


Be Quiet.
³⁸ As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. ³⁹ Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” ⁴¹ But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! ⁴² There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
                                                 -Luke 10:38-42



Lord!
Thank You for the quiet! Thank You for the reminder to hush our hearts so that we can hear the encouragement from You heart. How easy it is to just sit before You and listen. Why do we forget to do that? Help us to be like Mary! We as women are being taught to be like Martha. To serve, and rush, and cook, and prepare, and create! (things which we love and we know are good things but only in moderation!) Tap us on the shoulder when we are being too caught up in our check list and the things that demand our attention! We don't want to be stressed and distracted and frustrated and right now we acknowledge that the lack of quietness before You is likely the cause. Thank You for Your promise in Isaiah 58:9 "Then when you call, the Lord will answer.‘Yes, I am here,’ He will quickly reply." 

Let us remember when our minds get so busy and distracted and worked up what Psalm 116:7 says:
"Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."

Sincerely,

Jen

The Shore Line

Well, we are own our way back home from our first week long vacation as a family. It has been a much needed time of chillaxin. No rules. No itinerary. No plans. Just taking it easy, visiting with friends, eating good foods, enjoying the beautiful California weather. We have had lots of good conversations with friends this trip, discussing a lot of what God is doing in our hearts and families and churches.

Yesterday, we spent the day at Coronado Beach. It was cool and sunny and beautiful!!! When we were leaving, a thought occurred to me. Even though my kids were soaked and covered in sand, I was only wet up to my thighs. I didn't really even have to change my clothes. Why did I put my swim suit on?

God is like the Ocean. He is magnificently larger that our minds comprehend. We are surrounded by Him. We can enjoy His presence by being around Him, like a day at the beach.

- We can dress like we're going to play in the ocean without even getting wet at all!! Like those that play the role of a devoted Christ Follower, but never actually surrender over to Him.

- We can splash our feet around at the shore line without getting too far out. When we do that, do we comprehend His greatness!?!?! We are robbing ourselves of a completely submerged Christian life.

We can even recreationally surf the waves of God. We can spend our free time relaxing and enjoying ourselves.

... But I think God is beaconing more to us. I believe God is calling us to submerge ourselves deeply within Him. He is calling us to dive down to the depths of His heart and to search Him for all the amazing majesty of Who He is!!

We had a chance to visit with our friend JJ while in San Diego. Ricky and I were his youth leaders when he was in junior high and now his is in his 20s serving in the Navy. He was telling us about serving on the submarine, how they would descent and be below the water for weeks, even months!!! We had the chance to tour a submarine at the San Diego Maritime Museum. (We were not down there for long since Charlee was nervous down there. Ok maybe me too) You have to have some serious dedication to be submerged for that period of time in that confined of a space!! But the payout is worth it.

Just as in our spiritual life, I want to be submerged. I want to experience and explore the wonders of God. This has to be done daily. Not just on Sundays at church. Not just in a prayer before mealtime. This is a daily commitment to be submerged in Jesus. Real life actions of this are to focus my brain and heart on Him first thing when I wake up. (Not surfing whatever social network may be distracting me at the time) This starts with committing that time it read the Bible. It's refocusing our heart on God in quiet inward prayer throughout the day. It's becoming more aware of His continual presence wherever we are. It's about discussing and surrendering everything to Him, not just in trial and disparity. It's finding His glory in everything around us. It's being quiet. It's being loud. It's standing up and it's laying face down.


Lord, I want to complete submerge myself in You! I commit to this for my heart and my self. I want this for no other reason than to know You. When Moses experience You, He wanted more. (Exodus 33-34) We want You, God. We see how dry and depraved this Christian life can be without being submerged. We want to get ourselves out of the way for You to work!!! We want You to be greater and us to be less. So here I am. Dedicating to search You out until I have come to know all of You that I can. And I know that will be accomplished when I get to see You in Paradise, face to face.

Sincerely,
Jen

Check out our vacation pictures at:
http://instagram.com/mrsironbear